Reflections on birth days

A long time ago, my first husband offered me adventure, carefree living, and a partner. Today is his birth anniversary. I am old enough now to think back and see that this relationship was never going to succeed but that my upbringings required me to marry the man I was making love to sexually. Not a good reason to marry.

However, I learned to take risks although I was the stable one, the responsible one, I took a risk on a different lifestyle and found that it was not too my liking. Nope. Didn’t like altering my mental state with excessive drugs, including alcohol.

I cried the entire evening after our wedding in a park. My maid of honor asked if I was pregnant. No. Just realized it was a mistake to marry. Should have just lived together until we both woke up from our dream of forever.

Alas, I should be sad? Nope. Instead I learned, I loved, and I knew what I didn’t want for my life. And the journey has been worth leaving this man behind.

I should thank him for what he gave me but we have lost contact over the many years; the bitterness of betrayal left a long time ago. The peace of learning and moving on have filled my soul and for that I am grateful.

Thank you AMB for being a part of my journey. I hope peace finds you well and content; happy and reflective, at peace.


About mentaldiva

Only dead fish go with the flow--I am not swimming upstream all the time, but I certainly do not merely go with the flow either. Professional female with expectations of equity living in a redneck community needing to express herself!
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