Long Few Months

I was on a good monthly even bi-weekly posting streak but then this semester happened. I finished a draft of my dissertation that was accepted by my committee and I defend in less than two weeks. However, the time writing and not writing has taken its toll on my body-physically and mentally and I crashed about two days ago. Slept for almost 24 hours in the last 48, but not continuously. Breathe deeply, release, repeat.

First, the political scene is just too much: two much ineptitude, too much disgust, too much attack on everyone but the very, very rich. I have had to delete so many “news” groups and stick with traditional mainstream news and even then selectively.

Second, my gosh the climate and weather! Friends affected by one of the many hurricanes and let’s just say Puerto Rico deserves so much more. I have donated what I can since my income has been severely restricted this fall. Puerto Rico was my last straw of any hope that the political entities would do any good.

Third, Vegas shooting happened. Former student, family, all safe but barely. I do not like substituting profanity for strong English words, but WTF is going on with governments that they cannot see what is better for humans????

When it is all done and said, my sacrifices to obtain my doctorate are nothing compared to the natural and unnatural disasters. I have access to monies if I have to and I finally had to, even though I signed a contract for a salary this semester 5-6 weeks ago (depends on whether counting business days or 7-day weeks), as nothing has arrived in. And even that has taken a strange turn as instead of direct deposit a checked is mailed to my home address, not my student address. And transferring monies to my student account takes forever. But I have monies so I cannot complain. I even paid one oh my credit card accounts (I only have two) extra so I am using that credit to live off this month. I am not good at using a credit card to purchase food. . .but I do.

So many changes in “normal” operating routine because I didn’t finish my degree this summer. As I said it could be worse. . .and my complaining is just nothing compared to those who really have hardships in life.

The longing to be home with my family though wears me down into a darkness that only music and exercise can pull me back out. So darn it getting healthier!

Long two months since my last post, but more than surviving! Excelling. . . and meeting goals of a life-time dream.

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Idiocracy: not just a movie

I choose to believe that there are people in our current regime that will stop the president’s bullying, especially of Kim jong Un. But not seeing it.

Why won’t someone stop this insane, narcissistic’s idiot behavior? As a citizen, I wish I could invoke a citizen’s arrest for his stupidity and ignorance of compassion, diplomacy, and how to interact with others.

I have resisted. I have been patient. I have read the Constitution and Bill of Rights more times in the last six months than any other time in my life. But I do not see anywhere how I can take any (more than voting and speaking up and out) action to remove him and his regime from his debacle of “leadership.”

I drew a red line a long time ago with this person but without money to buy him off, I have little power to stop this madness. Dr. Strangelove* or how I learned to love the bomb keeps replaying in my head this day.

*Thank you Debbie Mack for posting this on youtube.

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Mathematics: Manmade tool for counting

Mathematics. Why do we talk about mathematics with a negative tone, negative voice, negative attitude? All of mathematics-all genres, all forms are constructed from humans’ observations of our natural world. Even algebra with its unknowns and letters for numbers is really an accounting system of those unknowns. Even more surprising is that I am writing about mathematics so calmly. I know several of my mathematics teachers from my middle and high school days who would be more than a little surprised and maybe one or two who would be downright flabbergasted!

On the other hand, I use mathematics as a tool to keep track of my earnings, savings, what I owe in taxes, how I pay for my food, housing, clothing, etc. I use mathematics for observations, data collection and verification, simple counting, and keeping track of stuff.

Mathematics is man-made. It is a set of rules for manipulating the number of things we have, had, or want. And yet, people post this “impossible” number problems or number patterns on social media, particular FB, and ask for the correct answer or how is this answer possible or to somehow mock the ability to see and apply patterns of counting.

Even algebra is being discussed as unnecessary because who really used algebra in the real world? If I had all of the answers to everything, then I wouldn’t need algebra. But algebra helps me predict my future earnings or holdings; algebra helps me see possibilities; algebra helps to clear my brain; algebra helps me to reason and think critically. Some people do cross word puzzles or Sudoku or word searches or . .  any number of brain-busting activities.

As a geophysicist friend said to me more than once, numbers are our friends. Learn from them. Use them just as you would your pencil, your car, your microwave. Numbers are tools to help our lives. . .figure out stuff. Embrace them.

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Reflections on birth days

A long time ago, my first husband offered me adventure, carefree living, and a partner. Today is his birth anniversary. I am old enough now to think back and see that this relationship was never going to succeed but that my upbringings required me to marry the man I was making love to sexually. Not a good reason to marry.

However, I learned to take risks although I was the stable one, the responsible one, I took a risk on a different lifestyle and found that it was not too my liking. Nope. Didn’t like altering my mental state with excessive drugs, including alcohol.

I cried the entire evening after our wedding in a park. My maid of honor asked if I was pregnant. No. Just realized it was a mistake to marry. Should have just lived together until we both woke up from our dream of forever.

Alas, I should be sad? Nope. Instead I learned, I loved, and I knew what I didn’t want for my life. And the journey has been worth leaving this man behind.

I should thank him for what he gave me but we have lost contact over the many years; the bitterness of betrayal left a long time ago. The peace of learning and moving on have filled my soul and for that I am grateful.

Thank you AMB for being a part of my journey. I hope peace finds you well and content; happy and reflective, at peace.

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Aha relief from the pain!

Have been in having a sharp pain in my back, between the shoulder blades. Discovered the cause, removed the knife. Feel so much better.

Now I can move on.

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Rough week? Just go golfing. . .

“Yeah, haven’t finished filling more than a majority of my appointments, but people have been mean to me so I will go golf and feel better.”

That is what I imagine 45 says as he heads out again for the weekend to golf. And the business of the Federal Government goes undone or worse is being done by Congress without an Executive branch leader.

I am not seething with anger but more than mildly irritated by the complete incompetence of people who are supposedly leading my country. With no checks and balances, not much is getting done that benefits the majority of the USA’s citizens. Only those with much money are benefiting from the current regime.

Yes, I am irritated, Instead of sitting quietly by, I am calling my senators and representative in Congress. I am voicing my expectations and displeasure; praising when work is done and the constituents are not only listened to but benefit from their actions.

I will not go quietly into the night or this awful regime.

And I will never ever golf. . .

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Ignorance or Stupidity?

Regardless of ignorance or stupidity, what is it that leads people to ignore evidence? Yes, there are plenty of papers, articles, stories, blogs, that attempt to answer that question, but people still ignore reality, ignore science, ignore common sense, and ignore the majority of people. Why?

In the USA, greed, selfishness, apathy, and falsely representing religious values seem to be running rampant to the point of running our government. We do not elect the president anymore (I know the electoral college does); in fact almost half of all eligible, registered voters did not vote because they could not stand either candidate and felt their vote would not count if they voted a third-party candidate, or they barred from voting lacking the “proper” ID, or they were too apathetic. Did these people not pay attention in their P-12 american government/history or civic/citizen courses? I have no use for apathy. Those who did not vote have no right to complain about the outcome or use the outcome to justify their lack of voting.  I have no respect for people who chose to not vote. I am angered by those barred from voting.

IF the winning candidate was an honest, ethical (not necessarily aligned to my ethics but aligned to honesty and respect), possessed a working knowledge of government, I could easily accept that the person I voted for did not win. However, that is not the case.

The winner is a user, a bully, misogynist, racist, bigoted, and uses his intelligence not to solve problems but to cause problems, to stir up the disenchanted who feel they been ignored by the federal government, who do not want to think for themselves but want someone else to lead. Sheep, yes, but dangerous sheep since they rule their lives by reacting not by being proactive, not by being educated on issues and solutions, who are not problem-solvers or critical thinkers. People who feel they have been slighted but refuse to take the steps themselves to advocate for themselves.

The winner who lies, embraces whomever will pay his bills (except the majority of taxpayers), who has no allegiance to the United States of America or her citizens, but worships not just the almighty dollar (who doesn’t want to have sufficient funds to live in their own home, can afford medical necessities, feed their family, take a vacation, etc.?), corruption, privilege as power, and you get the picture. Those people who voted for him and the electoral college think they will be better off and those in the electoral college probably will be due to their monied connections. However, the citizens who want to be led, they will be hurt a LOT.  IN the wake of this disaster, innocent children and elderly will also be harmed. People who did not choose to have a medical condition that requires expensive treatment or chronic treatment. People who pay their bills, who pay their taxes, people who find the work they need to support their family, people who believe if you work hard enough, you will prosper. People I love.

My anger is more to the people who take no responsibility for their actions, this includes most of the people in Congress-house of representatives and the senate, those who self-righteously think they are owed something and are not receiving it but think non-white, non-US Americans are, people who hid behind their religious beliefs to hate.

My frustrations lie in my inability to educate. I produced facts with evidence and yet, beliefs without evidence won out. Even the current president makes decisions based on the whims of his own imaginations, the agenda of others who have money (=power) with a chip on their shoulder for some reason.  Okay, I will say, because of white supremacy which is a fallacy. Their whiteness, their privilege because of their skin color has been threatened and with money they have bought their way to the white house and congress. And those of us who still believe in the goodness of others and their agendas suffer a setback that hits an unexpected grab of our private parts.

I am angry. I am frustrated. But I am not quitting. I will continue to fight for those who are discriminated against for the color of their skin, the origin of their family, the choice of their spouse, for those who are female, for those who are repressed. We all would like to have an easier life; but if I refuse to speak up and speak out, then I will have turned my back on justice, equality and equity, and humanity.

“Damn the torpedoes! full speed ahead!”–Adm. David Glasgow Farragut, circa  ~1863.

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